I got home today from school, we had early release, so I got home around 1:30. It didn't really hit me that we weren't going back to school until I was walking to my car carrying all my stuff with Maddie walking beside me. Then I got a little sad. I was trying to talk to her about it, that it was the last day of school and she wouldn't see some of her friends again until September. She clearly didn't get it, so I stopped. Up until now, I had been kinda apathetic about it. Most of the people I worked with, I will see again at church on Sundays, and most of them will be returning the following school year. But at the same time, I kinda didn't want it to end because Maddie likes it so much and it gives us somewhere to be during the week.
After I came home, I put Maddie to bed and started looking at her end-of-the-year book her teacher made for her. And thats when I started getting really sad. There were two pictures on the first page. One was of her standing in front of a growing stick the first few weeks of school last year. She was 18 months old. I just realized what a little baby she was back then. I miss that SO much! I can't believe I will never see her at that age anymore! The picture next to it was from this month a couple of weeks ago and she looks totally different!
Then to make matters worse, I started to clean out her diaper bag (I didn't buy her a new back pack this year because I figured I'm going to have to carry it anyways, so i'll just keep what I have for now) and realized she wont be using that anymore either! I dont carry her diaper bag when we go out anymore, and now that she's out of school, I don't need it! She will for sure have her own back pack next year. Uhg! Im getting so wishy washy!
Why do we still live wishing for life to hurry up so we can get to the next faze of our journey, but when we finally get there, we wish it hadn't come yet? I think I will make it one of my goals for this summer. To not let it fly by like last year did.
Counting down to summer
1 day ago